How To Cope With Being Childless?
Having a child is one of the most important decisions in one’s life where one has to take into consideration the entire history of the world, and it’s current picture so as not to freak out over bringing a new life into this world.
A lot of marriages go through troubled times when partners discover that their loved one lacks the ability to reproduce. This can make or break a marriage and destroy all love and affection for a person if the desire to have children is boundless.
How To Cope With Being Childless?
# 1. Accept Your State
A sure way to compound your problem is to ask yourself over and over again the same question “why am I unable to have children?” This won’t give new answers as the truth about your reproduction ability has already been discovered. Sure there are examples of women having children in their 40’s and some in their 50’s after repeated failures and doctors giving up on them, but those instances are rare. The barren state is not too bad if you don’t give in to the stereotype that it’s a must to have children. There are a lot of people throughout history who have spent married life and life in general without kids and went on to lead fulfilling lives.
# 2. Other People Also Have Crosses To Carry
A lot of people focus only on their own pain and are too self-centered to look beyond it. This is a sure way of numbing oneself with pain and enter into a depression. A lot of bad things have happened to people in their life-spans with some people not even coming back from it. No matter how much energy you put into blocking life, you will fail as it is designed to flow through you. The people who embrace the truth about their life are the happiest ones as they have accepted their capacity and role they are meant to play in the world.
# 3. See The Positives
Happiness depends on your attitude and rightly so. The thoughts in your head are the ones that will always do your bidding. Discovering that you are not biologically equipped to have a child can threaten to destroy your positive self-image and make you seek ways to harm yourself. Not having a child can be a blessing in disguise for you as you are free of all responsibilities and don’t have to watch your actions that may drive criticism out of your kid. You can pursue whatever you want without the fear of being judged by our child.
# 4. Travel
Travel is a sure way to destroy the prejudices and bias that settle in your mind if you live long enough in a place. The daily interaction with the people in your neighborhood and night outings with your friends near you can make you adhere to the same set of values as them. Sure there are ones who are too cheerful to stay depressed with, but you cannot connect with them as they have children and you don’t. You need someone who is like you or who understands what it is to be like you. Travelling and seeing other places is a sure way to clear your head and prevent your mind from boxing your thinking.
# 5. Spend Time With Kids Of Your Relatives
This may seem like an opposite response to what you should do but spending time with other kids will help your process the grief that won’t go away on its’ own. The first stage of any grief is denial as we tend to have the outlook that our life should have nothing but happiness and peace of mind. As you move on from this stage of denying yourself the reality of experience, you move on to sadness by confessing that it really did happen. After that guilt of not having a child will kick in and threaten to destroy you from the inside. It is corrosive and biting and makes you underestimate yourself as a human being. After you are done sobbing, you will feel angry at the circumstances which chose you and resent for being in this situation. The final nail in the coffin will be one of fear that reminds you are not ready to convert to the belief that it is to okay to be childless and still feel your life is shattered and you won’t be able to get your confidence ever again.
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Originally published By: AskOpinion.com
